Getting your Child Ready for College Part II- Emotions

If you have a child heading off to college there is no doubt you are feeling excited for them, nervous for them and more than a little sad for yourself! Man can I relate. It is such a huge transition for both your child and for you.
They're excite to get out there on their own but odds are they are more than a little nervous and scared. It's scary leaving home and the security of having family around them. They have no frame of reference for what to expect from living on their own, dealing with a roommate and making all their own decisions. Add in the anxiety and pressure of  classes and grades and you have one scared freshman.
One thing you can do is to try and get them to open up and talk about what they are feeling. Just talking about it and realizing that they are not the only ones feeling like this can really help. Every freshman going off to college is nervous!!! Encourage them that they can do this and will be successful if they work at it.

Help them find the resources available on their campus before they go. Have them look up the places for help with roommate situations, help with studying and tutoring. Take some time to talk with them about campus security and how to stay safe. Find out about campus security escort services if they have to walk at night and have them program the contact numbers into their phone before they leave for school.  Sometimes just knowing about the supports in place on campus will relieve much of their anxiety.
When a problem does arises, they need to be the one to go and ask for help. They need to be their own advocate when they go to college. Make sure to tell them that you'll be there to help them as well.

• Here's the big caution: When they call you for help; "I hate my roommate", "I'm having a problem", you can't solve it for them. You need to help them solve the problem themselves. If they have a roommate issue, ask them if they've actually talked with the roommate about the problem. Odds are they haven't encourage them to talk with them first and then if that doesn't work, go to the RA. As hard as it may be- don't start making phone calls yourself, they need to learn to fix things on their own. Your job is to be an encourager and give them ideas of how to work through things on their own.

How are you feeling? Here's you might feel.
You're really ready for them to go. The summer before college is long and they can be more than a bit moody and difficult to have around sometimes. This is so you're more ready for them to get out of the house!
You're excited that they are starting their life as an (almost) adult and for the adventures and future that await them. You've spent years raising them to be self sufficient and given them wings to fly, corny I know but true.
You're nervous for them because you won't be there to help them, to make sure that they are safe, eating right and making wise decisions.
You're also sad because your job as a 24-7 mom/dad to your precious baby is over. You won't be able to peek in and see them sleeping until noon, see their face every day or just be able to give them a hug or a kiss as you pass by. That is really hard. It changes the way you cook and how much food you fix. I remember years ago when my first child left for college and I was at the grocery store. I went to buy baking potatoes and put 7 in the bag. I realized that I only needed 6 and burst into tears. Not just a few tears, I'm talking SOBS. Thankfully, a woman nearby had been there and asked if my first child had just left for college. We both had a good laugh and I finished shopping but it was stupid things like that that would make me realize that life was different, not worse just something that I needed to adjust to and it made me sad during that transition.
 Take the time to not only celebrate this transition that they are making but to realize that your sadness and tears are perfectly normal during YOUR transition to life without them at home.

Enjoy these last few weeks before they are gone and use them to get both of you ready for college.

Getting your Child Ready for College Part I-What to pack?

Here are some things to sending your kids off to college with that my kids and I have found you need.
What to pack:

• XL Twin Sheets- One set for boys- they really will never change them so don't waste your money on two sets. If you think they'll change them get 2. This is the week to buy this size sheet. I've seen them in TJ Maxx, Target, Marshalls and a couple of other store in the last 2 weeks. Get them now because they go fast.  
• A big thick mattress pad or foam topper. The mattresses are pretty hard and uncomfortable. Also find out if their campus has had a problem with bed bugs which are becoming epidemic. If they have had problems in the past, invest in Mattress and Box Spring Encasements. Get the cotton ones. They completely zip shut and prevent mites and bed bugs from escaping. 
• Extra pillows. They'll use their bed not only to sleep, but to sit and hang out on so make sure there have extra pillows to lean against while studying.
• Towels- They will need 3 or 4 towels- Again- they don't do laundry that often and you don't want them smelling like sour towels. 
• A shower caddy to carry all their stuff back and forth to the bathrooms (if they aren't in a suite) 
• For girls- one of those bath towel wraps is really handy and far easier than a bathrobe to wear from the bathroom to their dorm room. Like this one from Walmart. Make sure it has straps so that it stays up easily.

• Make an office supply box. Take a plastic shoe box and pack: tape, scissors, a stapler, staples, a hole punch, reinforcer stickers for papers, notecards, post it notes, white out, rubber bands, paperclips, super glue, glue sticks and a roll of duct tape. You can fix anything with duct tape. 
• Make a First Aid Kit. Take a plastic shoe box and pack: a digital thermometer, ibuprofen, band aids of assorted sizes, cortizone cream for bug bites or rashes, neosporin for cuts and scrapes, an antacid for upset stomachs, and some throat lozenges and cough drops. Pack some Imodium-anti- diarrheal- NOT Pepto Bismol®, or Kaopectate® because of there is a risk of Reye's syndrome if taken for a virus. Pack some day and night cold tablets but make sure to go over how to take them and to not go over the recommended dosages. 

I actually make these first aid kits and give them as graduation gifts. They sure get funny looks on their face when they see what it is but every single kid has thanked me and told me what a life saver it was. When they got sick they had everything they needed without having to run to a store while they were feeling yucky.

•  Power strips with surge protectors on them. Outlets are scarce and many dorms don't allow regular extension cords.
• If they are bringing their laptop to college, make sure that they have some sort of lock for it so that it is safe in their rooms. Talk to them about small electronics and ideas of where to hide them so that they are not right out in sight. 
• If they are bringing a printer make sure to pack extra print cartridges and paper. 
• Removable hooks and adhesives to put up posters and things on their walls. You can't put holes or damage paint in dorms. 
• An over the door hanger with a row of hooks on it for wet towels and or coats.
• Laundry items: A self standing laundry bag with straps to carry it.
 
I still recommend sending them off with Purex Laundry Sheets I tested them last year and they work great, and are perfect for college kids. Nothing to spill, no bottles to leak, no guessing about how much detergent to add plus they won't have to carry down detergent and softener and dryer sheets. One sheet is all you need for an entire load. They are convenient, compact and idiot proof. While not the least expensive option out there, they are worth every penny for the ease of use and convenience. You throw one sheet into the washer with your clothes and the detergent and softener washes out. The sheet then goes straight into the dryer and the heat releases the anti-static. Easy enough for a college kids to do all by themselves. Maybe this way they won't bring all their dirty clothes home for you to wash at break! 

• Also pack a box of Shout Color Catchers You throw one sheet in the wash with your load of clothes and it helps catch dye that leaches out into the water from staining other clothes. That way they might not end up with a load of blue or pink clothes. They really do help. I wouldn't throw one in and expect it to catch all the dye from a brand new red sweatshirt but it will help with their regular "Mixed" Loads. 

Tomorrow I'll have Part II  of Getting Your Child Ready for College and talk about the emotions you both may be feeling as they get ready to go. 

Getting your Child Ready for College- Sheets and Laundry

Before you know it will be time to send your precious bundle off to college. Summer is almost over and if you haven't started to pull it together then it is time.
It's time to look for XL Twin sheets. I found tons this week Home Goods, TJ Maxx and Marshalls with great prices and lots of colors and patterns to choose from. Go get them!! They need at least 3 to 4 towels too. That way they won't go around smelling like sour socks or a wet dog from using the same towel for 3 months.

If they don't already know how- it's time to teach them how to do laundry. How to sort their clothes,  what temperature water to use, how to deal and treat different stains and how to fold clothes. 

Find out if the laundry machines in the dorms use prepaid laundry debit cards or quarters. If they use quarters then make sure to send 2 rolls with them.

I also highly recommend send them off with Tide Pods and color catching sheets. 

I tested the Tide Pods last month and they work great and are perfect for college kids. Nothing to spill, no bottles to leak, no guessing about how much detergent to add and they won't have to carry down detergent and softener and dryer sheets. One pod is all you need for an entire load. They are convenient, compact and idiot proof. While not the least expensive option out there, they are worth every penny for the ease of use and convenience.
 Easy enough for a college kids to do all by themselves.
 Maybe this way they won't bring all their dirty clothes home for you to wash at break!